babysitting...

last night...well it was fun.
babysitting 5 kids, aged 11 down to 1, plus my little brother. it was crazy. it was mayhem. its my family. =D

at one point i was thinking of what else i could have been doing. i could have gone to the dance. could have slept over at erica's. could have been at home wasting time. but in the end, i was very glad that i didnt.

you know, in school, they give you the Baby Think It Over. its supposed to "prepare" you for having a baby and show how much work it really is. well i think that they should expand the program to a live, FAMILY think it over. its very much more effective. and the "live" part really hits home. speaking from personal experience here. =]

as i was putting the munchkins to bed; brushing teeth, telling stories, tucking in...i found myself thinking into the future and the past. i guess i was sorta dreaming? haha.

i saw myself living alone in a lighthouse by the sea, perfectly content with the life i had chosen. then, i went to babysit my sister's family. and i suddenly wished i had one of my own. but it was too late, for some reason. ((its hard to explain how i knew that...you know in dreams you kinda just KNOW stuff that really doesnt make sense for you to know)) anywho.

then i saw myself in my mom's position. tons of little munchkins running around and me going crazy(er). but then i realized that i was running a daycare and none of them were actually mine.

THEN i saw myself in a nice house somewhere in the suburbs. i was rocking a little baby to sleep. and i knew that it was mine. i didnt know who my husband was, or even if i was married. but i was content to just rock this baby forever.

so yeah. random thoughts of the day. when i say im not getting married, all my friends tell me that i just HAVE to...that all that MOTHER in me cant be wasted on animals in a lighthouse by the sea, or someone else children in a daycare. i guess they're right. im not planning any marriages anytime soon, for those of you who might be thinking that this is all leading up to something. and im not pregnant, so you dont have to worry about that. =]

all im saying is that God works in mysterious ways and no one ever knows how they're life will turn out. so im gonna try to keep an open mind about my future...


PS: a lighthouse by the sea would be a good summer home...=]